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1.30.2013

As Sisters in Zion: Sister DeGraw


So Sister Taylor got her wisdom teeth out last week and has, thus, been under the weather, and I just started a temp job... Our schedule is a little off. Haha. Anyway, here is the next sister! Pictures and/or video to come later, when Morgan is up to sending them to me. :)



Sister Sarah DeGraw
Called to serve in the Germany Berlin Mission


Did the age change affect you? If yes, how long did it take you to decide to go? Did you always want to serve a mission? Why/why not?
I always considered going on a mission, but I never really committed to it or felt the need to go. It was more of a I'll go when I turn 21 if it feels right and growing up, I left it at that. I turned 20 this past summer and started to think about it more. 

On October 2, I went to the temple with my roommate and her older sister. It was great, of course, but I felt kind of rushed. The next day, I felt this overwhelming feeling that I needed to go back before conference because I needed to hear something that I hadn't heard the night before. I had a crazy schedule and the only time I could go was really early Thursday morning. I got up crazy early (I don't like mornings haha) and went. I remember I was reading Moroni 7 and looking back I have no idea how this impression/my feelings even came from reading that chapter, but I had this unbelievable HUGE impression that I needed to serve a mission immediately. I thought that it was odd and out of nowhere, but it felt so right. I talked to roommates and my aunt about timing, school, etc. I wouldn't turn 21 until next summer, so I spent all day Thursday and Friday figuring out how soon after 21 I could go. I kept asking for my friends' opinions because I couldn't figure out why I felt such a direct prompting in the temple and so unhappy and uncomfortable when trying to piece it together with my plans I had already made in my life. It just didn't fit to go at 21. I was talking to two of my roommates Friday night just explaining all of it. My roommate had made a comment that was something like, "Don't you wish you could just go sooner than 21?"

Less than 12 hours after that conversation, the announcement was made in General Conference that lowered the age for a mission. I had to be at school that day, so I was planning on watching the sessions that night, but my dad texted me and was like, "Cool that you can serve a mission now if you want to." I had NO idea what in the world he was talking about and he had no knowledge of my past week with the prompting. I talked to him on the phone then I kept re-reading his text and my thoughts were exploding! About a half hour later, a feeling of peace came over me and I just knew. A feeling that simply said, "I said immediately. Go."


Where did you want to be called? Why?
My papers were turned in the beginning of November. I was supposed to get my call the week of Thanksgiving and was SO disappointed when it wasn't there that Wednesday! It wouldn't come the next day because of Thanksgiving, but thankfully it was in my mailbox the day after!
I was so excited to open it! By this point, I didn't really care where I was called, I just wanted to know haha. 


I had been trying since they made the announcement not to put any stipulations on where I wanted to serve. Much easier said than done! I really wanted to learn another language, but whether I learned one in another country or in the U.S., it didn't matter to me. Deep down, I had a desire to go French speaking since I took 5 years of it. I also took a year of German the same time I took AP French, but French was what I cared about. I had a roommate from the Montreal mission and thought it would be wicked cool to go there since I just love Canada, but obviously France was running through my head, too and how incredible it would be if I was called there (my Grandpa served in France). My dad served in the Japan Sapporo Mission and so I tried to picture myself speaking Japanese and it just made me laugh. I couldn't see it, but I do love seafood and I have heard of many people who are called to Japan if at least one parent served there, so I was like okay...maybe Japan? 

I tried to come to terms that if I was called English speaking, it would be okay since at least I wouldn't have a language barrier. But if that was the case, I still wanted to go to a place like London or Australia or Canada. I never had a place that I was dead set on not wanting to go to, though. Ultimately, I knew whatever my call said was the right place for me. My main desire was to leave earlier rather than later because I wanted to be home before the fall semester in 2014, but I was trying to realize how that was not very likely since it was already the end of November when I would receive my call. I also realized that if I did leave earlier rather than later, I would most likely go state-side since I didn't have a passport.

Was your call surprising? How do you feel about it?
The day after Thanksgiving, I opened my call with friends who were still in Provo and skype with my family. Surprisingly, I wasn't surprised at all when I read it out loud. All I could think of was how excited I was! On November 23, 2012, I was called as a full-time missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints to serve in the Germany Berlin Mission. I was to report February 6, 2013 to the Provo MTC! I had a 10-week wait period which was only thing I was surprised about! I have two friends who served in Berlin (one was there when I opened my call!) and a friend and an uncle who served in Frankfurt. There was no way I can explain my excitement as I opened it. It's the best feeling in the world.


Any advice for future sisters or girls still deciding?
My advice to those who are thinking whether or not you should serve: be open to the possibility but don't feel pressured to go. Even with the huge influx of sister missionaries, it may not be what the Lord wants for you in your life. You can contribute so much to the church wherever you are. I would still encourage you to read Preach My Gospel. It's incredible.

To sisters who are going on missions:


If you haven't received your call yet, realize that no matter where you go, it's the right place for you. It's not anyone's call but yours. Also realize that it's okay to have desires to where you would like to go or language or timing. I was so comforted in the fact that although the Lord understood where He needed me more than I did, He knew I wanted to leave sooner rather than later and I will always be grateful that that was considered. The Lord cares about what you think even if you personally don't know everything that is needed for you. Another example would be my brother. He absolutely knew he did not want to speak any language but English. He served in the Washington Everett Mission and he absolutely LOVED it. And got to speak English. The Lord is aware of YOU. With me leaving so soon, I'm so thankful that everything just fell into place. Passport, visa, financial things, all of it...it falls into place. If you are meant to serve, serve. The Lord will provide. Remember that everything will fall into place if you trust in the Lord!


If you have received your call, when you start questioning whether you made the right choice, read your call again. It was the one thing that calmed my doubts because the feeling I got when I read it again was just as incredible as the first time. Also, I re-read my journal entries leading up to the announcement. It gave me chills to read how God knew before I knew that I needed to serve immediately. The Lord knows where you are meant to be, not just for your mission but in your life. Also, be yourself and be happy!!  In your journal, write one miracle you saw that day, two funny moments that happened that day, and three people you are grateful for (with at least two of them being people who are in your mission) and you'll realize that despite a day that may be really, horribly tough, there are always things and people to be grateful for.


Any other thoughts?
I leave in exactly 14 days {7, now, since I'm posting this later than when she sent it. :) } and couldn't be more excited! Good luck to all sisters and God bless!

--Sister Sarah DeGraw

Keep up with Sister DeGraw on her mission blog here! For more information on the Germany Berlin Mission, check out Sister Diederich's blog (here), if you haven't already! She has some really fantastic tips as well! Just remember to be cautious... She's a little unorthodox about some things... Hahaha. Also, for a more traditional approach - President and Sister Kosak's blog for the mission is here!

Stay tuned for the next post! There will definitely be one on Saturday - I've got it all ready!

1.24.2013

As Sisters In Zion: Sister Wilson


Here is the second installment of the series! Check out xoxo, mo on Saturday for the third! :)
You can find other installments here and here.




Sister Haley Michelle Wilson
Called to serve in the Panama Panama City Mission


Did the age change affect you? If yes, how long did it take you to decide to go?
I honestly think it affected everyone in some way another; whether you’re a parent who now may have multiple missionaries out at the same time, or of missionary age now able to go. I just turned 20 last August and was planning on serving a mission long before that. A week before the age change I met with my YSA Bishop and told him I was planning on putting in my papers before leaving to do a study abroad in Israel. Honestly the age change just moved everything up for me. Instead of submitting my papers in April and leaving in August after my study abroad (when I would have been 21) I submitted my papers in November and am leaving in April. God is definitely hastening His work and I feel so blessed to be a part of it.

Actually, the moment the prophet announced the age change, after hugging many of my friends who were also affected by the news, I texted my home ward Bishop and told him I would call him the moment the session was over. I felt like God in that moment had said to me “You’ve wanted to go on a mission so badly for a long time, so here is this great blessing. You don’t have to wait any more.” My family was not surprised by this at all. Although some of them did advise me to slow down and think about things. Like how it would affect my schooling etc… But I couldn’t be swayed. I was going and there was nothing anyone could do to stop me.

Did you always want to serve a mission? Why/why not?
There has always been a part of me that has always wanted to serve. Even when I dated guys there was a part of me that pined for the chance to serve. I knew that getting married and starting a family was just as noble of a pursuit. Yet I wanted to get out into the world and share my testimony with my fellow brothers and sisters. I love my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ so much and I cannot imagine anything that would please Him more than to spend 18 months in His service as a missionary.

The defining moment for my desire to serve a mission came in the form of an answered prayer. Before going to school I was considering double majoring (I think I work myself to hard at times. I’m working on not killing myself while trying to over achieve at the same time). I had been praying a lot about this decision. Especially because double majoring would extend my education a whole year (making my degree five years instead of four). However, before I left for BYU I met with my home ward Bishop (the same one who I called the day of the age change and interviewed me for my mission. He admitted that it was a very special moment for him). He was just talking with me about getting things squared away before going off to school, what my plans were etc…

Then there was a lull in the conversation and I waited for him to say that he’d had a nice chat and to send me on my way. But instead he leaned forward in his seat and said “Haley, I feel strongly prompted to tell you two things. First that you should finish your education as fast as possible and second, that when the time comes, you should strongly consider serving a mission.” It was like someone had poured a bucket of cold water over my head. God had answered my prayer through this inspired servant of His. Not only that but when the words left His mouth that I should serve a mission I knew that was exactly what God wanted me to do. Ever since that desire has burned within me so ferociously that it, I feel, has caused some complications with relationships I have been in. Again, I am so grateful that I am going four months earlier then I planned. It is a huge blessing, a wonderful reminder that God is mindful of His precious children.

Where did you want to be called? Why?
This is an amusing question for me now because honestly I can’t think of anywhere better then Panama. I had dreams, before I received my call that the Church opened up Jerusalem for missionary work (it currently is not). After a while I thought it would be cool to be one of the first sister missionaries in Turkey or Greece. The night I received my call I really thought I might get called to France or Germany (I have tons of ancestors from there and my grandma is full blooded German so it wasn’t too out there).

To be honest Panama never crossed my mind. I am ashamed to admit but I wanted to go foreign so badly that I was terrified I would be called stateside and thus, be disappointed when I read my call. I was far from disappointed (as the video of me opening up my call shows). I knew that God knew me so well. I even said a little prayer before I opened it (I prayed for it every night since submitting my papers as well) that I would know, the moment I read my call, no matter where it was, that it was inspired of God and that He would lead me to people who needed me and who would teach me things that would help me become more like Him. It strengthened my testimony that God answers prayers. We cannot even fathom how much He loves us and how badly He wants us to be happy. I felt embraced by Him the night I received my call and I know that He will be with me as I go to teach the people of Panama.

Was your call surprising? How do you feel about it?
I feel like, in some ways I’ve already answered this questions but that’s okay because I could talk for hours about this. No I did not expect Panama. In fact, Central America in general never crossed my mind. I think subconsciously I knew they had missionaries down there but in thinking about where I thought I would go it just never came up in my head. Even people guessing didn’t get anywhere close. A friend of mine guessed Mexico but that’s only because she is from there and thought it would be really neat if that was where I got called to.

It was a huge tender mercy. I will admit that I bawled, which is not something I do very often (just ask my family). I addressed one of the reasons why in the previous questions but there was another reason why my call struck such a deep cord in me. It didn’t dawn on me completely until later. I was so touched by it because deep in my soul I had always wanted to serve a mission somewhere like Panama.

Before I came up to BYU I went on a cruise with my family to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. While there we decided to do a zip lining excursion through the jungle (it was so green and beautiful there!). On our way up the parents wanted to show us kids that we had a lot to be grateful for by taking us through the really impoverished areas of the island. Places where the people ran around without shoes and the houses had no doors, floors or glassed windows. Yet the people looked happy. I felt this deep, overwhelming desire to help these people. I only spent ten minutes in their presence but I loved them so deeply and wanted so badly to not only help them temporarily but to bring them the saving message that is the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I even expressed this deep desire to my mom and she said that maybe I would have that opportunity.

That was almost a year and a half ago. To be honest, I forgot that deep desire. Even when people asked me where I would want to go if I could choose I didn’t’ remember that I’d felt that in Mexico all that time ago. Then I received my call and it was as if God was saying “I remembered daughter, don’t worry, I know what you want and as your loving Father in Heaven I want to give you that joy. I want to reward you for that righteous desire.” Panama is just like the part of Mexico I visited only on a bigger scale. There is so much work to be done in Panama and I am so excited and blessed to be a part of it.

Share an interesting missionary experience or story.
I am sad to say that I haven’t helped bring any of my friends to the waters of baptism but I do have family members that are not members. Through them I have had numerous opportunities to refine my beliefs. It is something that helped establish my own testimony at a relatively young age. I had to decide if I really believed it or not. It was a source of contention between my nonmember step mom and me and if I didn’t believe that faith of my youth it would have been a lot easier to give in to her ridiculing jabs.

Yet I chose to try to be the example. Even though every time I went and visited my dad and her I was terrified that she would again try to pressure me to do something that she knew was against my beliefs. Her favorite pressure point was inappropriate movies. She would often tell me that I made it difficult for the rest of the family because I wouldn’t go see R-rated movies with them. That we couldn’t truly enjoy family time together because of it. Yet, despite many shed tears and pleas for understanding I stood as strong as I could on legs that wobbled with fear and frustration.

I knew I had done well when one visit she gave me a little velvet box and said that it was her birthday gift to me. It reminded her of me when she saw it. She also handed me a shirt that was folded and said she hoped I liked them. When I unfolded the shirt that words “Forgetting what’s temporal, focused on the eternal,” stared back at me and in the box a little pendent with the words “Woman of God- Psalms 31” engraved on it glimmered in the light. I knew then that all the years of struggling to be an example and standing alone against the things of the world had mattered. She saw me for the person I wanted to be and for the first time I felt like she looked at me with respect. I do not think she will ever join that church but I do hope, that when the time comes that I see her again I feel good knowing that I did the best missionary work an 11 year old girl knows how to do, I tried to be an example.

Why are you serving?
This is a very multi-dimensional question but for the sake of attention span I will boil it down to the main reason. I love my Savior Jesus Christ. He has been my closest friend and dearest companion. I have gone places that no one but Him can understand. He has been there when I’ve hurt so badly I felt like a physical being was binding my tongue and preventing me from speaking the words of a broken heart aching to be comforted. He has been there for me when I felt my world falling in around me. He is really all I need in this life to be happy. My relationship with Him is not one based off of a superficial belief in the Son of God but a deep and abiding trust in my Savior and Elder Brother. In any earthly relationship we work to make the ones we love happy. The same is true for my relationship with my Lord and my God. He has provided me with such joy that I want to make Him too happy by the way I live my life. Though I could never do any small measure of the things that He has done for me I can wear out my days in service to Him and I hope that when I kneel before Him at the last day He will take me in his arms and say “Well done my good and faithful servant.” And He will call me His and will know what it means to be truly and perfectly at peace.

Any advice for future sisters or girls still deciding?
I have so many thoughts on this. My first bit of advice is to not get caught up in the hype. Don’t feel like you have to go because your neighbor and their dog are going. Also don’t go because you need a way to kill time while you’re waiting for your “pen pal with benefits” to come home. There a lot of other things you can do, things that won’t be so hard. I guess it boils down to, go for the right reason. A mission will be the hardest, most physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing experience of your life. If you are not out for the right reasons it’s going to be a miserable 18 months. Just search your heart. Figure out what God wants for you. To me true conversion is not in aligning your will with God’s. It is completely throwing aside your will and wanting only what God wants for you. I can personally testify that if you do this you will find more joy than you have ever known.

Second, before you leave, come to know your Savior. You cannot represent someone you do not know personally and intimately. You will, every day, encourage people to come to know Jesus Christ. But if you do not know Him, if you do not have a relationship with Him it will be harder to encourage others to know Him. That might involve a little walking where He has walked and suffering the way he suffered. But when you come to know that He has “engraven you upon the palm of His hands”, that He loves you and suffered for you. When you come to realize that if you were the only one that needed to be saved He would have suffered in Gethsemane and on Calvary over and over just for you. That is when you are in a place to really represent Him and to invite others to walk with you on the road to discipleship back towards our Father in Heaven.

To cut it short my last bit of advice is to not worry about the little things. I can’t tell you how many girls I have heard worried about the tiniest unimportant thing. You are choosing to put your trust in an all knowing, all powerful Being that loves you infinitely and completely. He is not setting you up to fail and even when you come home He will take care of you. You will be blessed beyond your wildest imagination for serving Him. He has told His children before and I reiterate the saying “Fear not little flock” He gave up His life for you and the small portion of your life that you are giving up for Him is not going unnoticed. Take heart, lift up your eyes and know that no matter your concerns He will see to it that it is taken care of. He loves you and He is waiting for you to serve in whatever capacity you were meant to do so.

Any other thoughts?
I am just so very grateful to serve the people of Panama and feel so blessed that God has seen me as worthy to do so. I still have a long road of preparation but I am so excited for my chance to go out and do what I have longed all my life to do. It so wonderful to see all the worthy sisters getting ready to go out and I hope to one day to have daughters just like them. This is truly the greatest work on Earth. As sisters in Zion we have been given the errand of angels to gather His flock it has been a privilege answering these questions and really reflecting on the work of the Lord. Thank you and God bless you all.

--Sister Haley Michelle Wilson

Check out Sister Wilson's mission blog here!

For more information on the Panama Panama City Mission, check out President and Hermana Ward's mission blog here!

Don't forget to check out xoxo, mo for Saturday's feature!

1.22.2013

As Sisters in Zion: Sister Moffitt


So Mo, of xoxo, mo, and I are hosting a Sister Missionary series! This here is the first of that series. There will be more to come; some on my blog, and some on hers!




Sister Myley Sue Moffitt
Called to serve in the Argentina Salta Mission


Did the age change affect you? If yes, how long did it take you to decide to go?
The age change for sister missionaries most definitely affected me. I had turned nineteen only a month and a half prior to the announcement. My decision to go on a mission was almost instantaneous. I made an appointment for an interview with my bishop the very same day the announcement was made.

Did you always want to serve a mission? Why/why not?
I have always had some desire to serve a mission, but I didn't really think I would have the opportunity.
To me, twenty-one just seemed way to late. I was sure I would be married by the time I was old enough to go. Because of the timing I hadn't given it too much thought until this summer. 
This summer I had the opportunity to help my very best friend in the world prepare for his mission in the Philippines. Through helping him I realized how much I wished I could go too. There were so many times that I told him how lucky he was and how I wanted to go and teach people too. This was the first time I really noticed how badly I wanted to go. But again, since I was sure I would be married by age twenty-one I was almost positive I wouldn't be going. So I just tried not to think about it too much.

During the summer I was preparing to go to college. As most people know, college is super expensive. I needed grants, but I was told that it would be a problem so I didn't worry about it. I reserved a room in the dorms (where I would have a year-long contract) and I picked my classes. About half way through July I was told I would not be receiving the financial aid I was promised, and at this point it honestly looked like I would not get to go to college. I was devastated. I had to cancel my room reservation and then drop all of my classes. My dreams were crushed. However, after many (many) tears we found another way. I wouldn't be staying in the dorms, but would be living off-campus by myself. I wouldn't be taking the classes I had wanted, but the ones I signed up for were good too. All was right in the world again. I continued to prepare myself for college, and helped prepare my friend for his mission. 

Then October conference rolled around. 

Wow. 

What a crazy time in life. Sisters could now serve at the age of nineteen? Did I see that coming? No, I most definitely did not. However, I knew that it was right for me and I immediately started my papers. I wanted to go as soon as possible. After I finished and submitted my papers I realized something. If I had not had the issues with financial aid during the summer I would not have been able to go on a mission right away. I would have been locked into a housing contract for an entire academic year. Where I was living I could leave at any time. I am meant to serve now and I know it. 

My trials definitely prepared me for something better that was coming. The Lord has a plan for all of us, and those trials were a way of steering me in the right direction.

Where did you want to be called? Why?
I wanted to go foreign more than anything. I am an adventurous sort of person and I love to travel. I love trying new things. I wanted to learn a foreign language. I didn't really care where I went in the world as long as it wasn't the United States. I wanted to get out and experience more of the world and experience other cultures.

Was your call surprising? How do you feel about it?
Along with my desire to serve in a foreign country came a lot of anxiety about my call and a fear of disappointment. I knew I would be called where I was meant to go, but I didn't want to be disappointed if it did happen to be in the states. I cannot express how relieved and excited I was when I opened my call. I began reading but I couldn't control myself any longer and my eyes flitted across the page to see my destination. It said I would be serving in the Argentina Salta mission. I wasn't really surprised about it. I was just grateful that my Heavenly Father was mindful of my desires and allowed me to have what I wanted. I am so excited to go serve and teach the people of Argentina. I cannot think of a better place for me to be. I am anxiously counting down the days until my departure date. It can't come fast enough!

Why are you serving?
I am serving a mission because of my love for the gospel. It has brought me so much peace and joy in life. I want everyone to have the same opportunities for happiness that I have had. I want people to have the same knowledge I do so they can be as blessed as I have been. I am also serving for my own future family. Looking forward to the future and thinking about my own kids serving missions I realized that I could never ask them to go if I didn't go myself. I could never ask my children to do something I wasn't willing to do myself. 

I know that serving will help me become more Christ-like and that is the whole goal of this life. All of these things are reasons that I'm serving, but possibly the most important reason I am serving is to show gratitude to my Heavenly Father. He has blessed me with so much. I know that I can thank Him through prayer, but to me serving a mission is an even better way to show my gratitude for all my blessings. In my opinion there is no better way to show gratitude for everything you have been given than by being willing to give it all back.

Any advice for future sisters or girls still deciding?
To any future sisters I would say prepare now. Use your time wisely. Study the scriptures as much as you can as well as the words of the living prophets. These can only be a benefit to you as you go out to teach. To girls still deciding, all I can say is pray. Heavenly Father will let you know His plan for you. A big factor in my decision was my realization of how I would regret it later if I didn't go. I realized I had a desire to go. That is the most important thing. Then I took that desire to my Heavenly Father and asked Him if that was what He desired for me. The answer was a resounding yes. It might seem like a hard task to take up, but in the long wrong there are no negative side effects to serving a mission. You will only be blessed for your service. Also, when deciding, this may sound selfish, but only think of yourself. Do not even consider what others will think or want. The only person who matters in this decision is you. Only you can and should make the decision. Just have faith that the Lord will let you know what is best for you. :)

--Sister Myley Sue Moffit


For more information on the Argentina Salta mission, check out Elder Huston's mission site!

Tune in Thursday for another Sister!


1.13.2013

Testimony

My heart is so full right now. I just really need to write it all down... I'd like to talk about our Fast and Testimony meeting today, and bear my own testimony.

As I walked in to Sacrament meeting, I debated whether or not I wanted to bear my testimony today. Last year, one of my resolutions was to get up to the pulpit every testimony meeting of the year, and I accomplished that, so I didn't feel like I needed to because it had been a long time, and I didn't have something that I felt I needed to share with people, necessarily. 

I had been asked to say the opening prayer, so if I did get up, it would be for the second time in the meeting, which I counted as a con: Though I am not a shy person, I am not overly confident when I am speaking in front of an entire congregation of people. Singing in that situation is preferable because, though I worry about my voice cracking or saying the wrong words, I know exactly what words and notes I am supposed to sing. 

While the young men passed the sacrament, I decided that it would be to my benefit to bear my testimony; I need all of the practice I can get before March, when I'll be bearing it daily, because though I am sure of my testimony, I am not sure of my speech. I don't consider myself great with words. I tend to ramble and change topics in rapid succession when I bear my testimony, and it makes me wonder if even the Spirit can follow what I say... Let's be honest, I'm rambling right now!

Well, the first person to get up with Elder Kikuchi, an Ameritus Seventy who lives in my ward. He bears his testimony every Fast Sunday that he is in town, and it is always amazing, but this time it was different - more personal. He spoke of how his wife recently became very sick. Her lung cancer, which had been in remission, was discovered to have not only reappeared in her trachea, but spread to her brain, where the doctors found not one, but several tumors. Elder and Sister Kikuchi were upset and frightened, but they had faith, and prayed and fasted that she would come out of things all right - He said that it was a very difficult time. 

The scans were done just before Christmas, and as the holidays commenced, many doctors where not available to do further tests, but there was one man, a Latter-day Saint, who graciously scheduled to see her on the 31st. As they were walking in to the hospital, Sister Kikuchi turned to her husband and told him that the Lord had healed her. After an MRI, and then another nuclear MRI to make sure that what he was seeing was correct, the doctor, confirmed what she had said - both the tumors in her brain and the cancer in her trachea were completely gone. Before they had the opportunity to tell their family members, their son's 8-year-old son came in to his parents' room in the middle of the night - "Mom? Dad? Grandma is okay. She is healed." It was an incredible story, and equally as incredible was the timeline - this all happened between the end of November and now.

As you may imagine, Elder Kikuchi's testimony of the power of faith brought many people up to the stand. I waited for a few, who all spoke just as powerfully as Elder Kikuchi, mostly about recent miracles which they have experienced or witnessed. By this time I was in tears because the Spirit's presence in the room was so strong. I stopped thinking about what I was going to say, stood up, and walked to the pulpit, where I tried, as best I could, to say, as Alma says, "the smallest part which I [felt]." I had a really difficult time, actually, because I was crying so hard, but, though I knew I hadn't said everything that I felt, I knew that the Spirit had conveyed the message that I wanted my ward to hear, through my otherwise almost powerless words.

I am so grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I don't know where I would be without it, but I do know that there's a large possibility it would be a very dark place. I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love Him, for everything that He has done for not only me, but for everyone who has come, and will come, to this earth. As another sister said in my meeting today, I know that He died for me, and that, even if I were the only soul who chose to come to earth, He still would have suffered in Gethsemane, and died for me on the cross. I am so grateful for His Atonement - the knowledge that I have the opportunity, through His infinite grace, to return to live with Him and my Father in Heaven is so tremendous to me! When I think about it, I feel this overwhelming joy that is better than any other feeling I've ever experienced, and I understand why those before me have said, "Hosanna!" because that is what my heart feels when I think of Him.




 16 Therefore, let us aglory, yea, we will bglory in the Lord; yea, we will rejoice, for our joy is full; yea, we will praise our God forever. Behold, who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his cmercy, and of his long-suffering towards the children of men? Behold, I say unto you, I cannot say the smallest part which I feel.              
                                                                               --Alma 26:16

why I'm serving

So this is going to be a HUGE post, but I'd like to share the story of why I want to go on a mission, and how I've come this far.

As long as I can remember, I have had a strong desire to serve a mission. That desire has grown through various experiences, but it has been there since I was a little girl. I was always the loudest voice whenever we sang "I Hope They Call Me on a Mission" in Primary. I remember, when I was 7 or 8, singing "We’ll Bring the World His Truth" with my mom for my uncle's mission farewell when he went to the England London Mission. We got to take him to the airport to see him off, and I thought it was so cool that he got to go to England to teach people about Church! Church was so fun! Everyone should get to go to church! 

Some years later - I think I was maybe 12 or 13, an older friend of mine (like nine years older than me) decided that she was going to serve a mission. I had looked up to her as long as I'd known her, so I always watched her as an example... My desire to serve my own mission was strengthened tenfold as I saw her prepare, receive her call to the Spain Madrid mission, and become the first missionary I would ever write. Her letters, though we did not exchange many, gave me great insight that I had not previously had as to what missions were actually like. She greatly inspired and influenced my decision to serve.

When I was 14, I received my patriarchal blessing. The Stake Patriarch was a man I had never met. As he laid his hands on my head and started to speak, I knew that he was called of God - he spoke about things that he could not have known about except through divine revelation. I waited for him to say something specific about a mission; to tell me flat out that, if I lived according to the Gospel, I would serve a mission. He didn't. He did, however, tell me I would bring people to the gospel - just not the means. I knew it didn't mean that I wouldn't go, and continued to feel that strong desire to serve.

Over the next five years, I had several more desire and testimony building experiences. There were a few times I believed the Spirit had witnessed to me that I would serve, but I was never certain, because I knew that my 21st birthday was far away, and a lot could happen before then.As I started college and watched friends and fellow students start to seriously date and get married, I realized that, though I did not want to get married before serving a mission, it was a possibility. I decided that if, before I was 21, I dated a man and, after much prayer and deliberation, was answered that I was supposed to marry him, I would do it. I would trust in the Lord, and follow His game plan. However, I still had a burning desire to serve, and held out hope that I would be able to go. 

This last October in General Conference, when President Thomas S. Monson announced the age change (from 19 to 18 for men, 21 to 19 for women), the course of my life changed. I didn't have to wait any longer! My 19th birthday was just a few weeks away. I set up an interview with the bishop of my Young Single Adult ward at school, as well as scheduling appointments with both my advisor and the man over my research scholarship. I discovered that, school-wise, everything would work out perfectly! When I met with my bishop the next Tuesday, he had not yet received word from the bishop of my home ward, so he could not give me access to mission papers online yet. He told me to pray, fast, and study my scriptures to make sure that what I wanted was also the Lord's will, and to come back the following Sunday. He also read me this:


 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. 
 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must astudy it out in yourbmind; then you must cask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your dbosom shall eburn within you; therefore, you shallffeel that it is right.
 But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a astupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong; therefore, you cannot write that which isbsacred save it be given you from me.
                                                                                 --Doctrine and Covenants 9:7-9

I had not really thought much about that before. What if I wasn't supposed to serve a mission, even though everything seemed to be working out in favor of it? Suddenly, after knowing it was what I wanted to do for almost my entire life, I was unsure. I wanted to do the Lord's will, but it was so hard for me to think about the possibility that, after a lifetime of desiring, a mission might not be what the Lord wanted for me. I did what the my bishop and the scripture said, but I didn't feel like I was getting an answer. Sunday came and I told my bishop that I would like to open my papers regardless. Even as I filled out my papers and went to the required doctor and dentist appointments, I did not feel like I had an answer yet.

I finished my papers on a Tuesday, and my bishop sent them to the Stake level. The Stake Executive Secretary called, and I set up an appointment with a member of the Stake Presidency for the next Sunday. As time went on, I became more and more worried that what I thought was the lack of an answer might actually be the "stupor of thought" that the Lord speaks of in D&C 9:9. 

That Friday, I attended a wonderful Religion in Life devotional at our Institute. The sister who spoke, I believe her name was Sister Olsen, talked about her mission story - she did not want to serve a mission, but her bishop had asked her to consider it. She prayed about it, but did not feel like she was getting an answer, so she assumed that the Lord was leaving it up to her, and decided that she wasn't going. A friend of hers attended a devotional where an older sister spoke about receiving answers to prayers, and suggested that Sister Olsen come talk to this her and get her opinion on the situation. When asked, the older sister told her that she believed that the reason Sister Olsen was still concerned about the situation, despite her decision not to go, was that she had in fact received an answer, and it was a yes.

As wonderful as the devotional was, I started to doubt more than I ever had before. In my notes from the devotional, I wrote, "Have I already gotten my answer?" and "I need to be open to the Lord's will, even if His will is that I stay here." I was upset, and, as I thought about it more, I actually began to feel physically sick. I biked back to my apartment, took the stairs two at a time, entered my door, and called my mother.

I felt horrible - what if my answer really was no? What would I tell my bishop and the Stake Presidency? I knew that they'd understand, but I felt like I'd be letting them down, after taking up time they could have spent interviewing other people. Despite my dismay at the thought of what might happen, I decided that if my answer really was no, I would stay home, even if it was hard. I also felt that, either way, everything would make sense after my interview. My dark feeling turned into tears as I told my mom about the devotional and my doubts. She consoled me as best she could, but also told me that my fears could very well be real. She also reminded me that, if I felt darkly, maybe the feeling wasn't the Holy Ghost - maybe it was Satan. I'd forgotten about the power of adversary in my search for an answer. After discussing this possibility, because it was very definitely a dark feeling, my mom advised me to continue praying and studying until my interview - maybe by then I'd have a definite answer.

After what seemed like an eternity, my Sunday appointment rolled around. I walked into the office of President Rigby, the second counselor in the Stake Presidency. After an opening prayer and introductions both ways, he started the interview. I answered all of his questions, a little bit nervous that he'd tell me I wasn't supposed to go, or that I'd receive a definite answer that this was not what I was supposed to be doing. He asked me a few questions about my papers, made a few corrections... and the he asked me why I wanted to serve a mission.

As I pondered his question, I was overcome by an overwhelming sense of joy. I told him why - I am so grateful for Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life, and I cannot bear to think that there are people out there who cannot partake in its blessings simply because they don't know about them! I realized that even though I did not know where I would be serving, I already loved the people there, wherever it was. I told him as much, and he told me that feeling will only grow. He congratulated me on my decision, told me he would send my papers on to Salt Lake later that day, and we closed with a prayer. The whole time I kept thinking, "I got my answer! I got my answer! I'm supposed to go! How could I not see it before!? I got my answer!"

As hard as those few weeks of doubt were, they were so worth it. If anything, they made me more sure about my decision in the end. To feel that immense darkness and then to feel overwhelming light so close together made everything so much more poignant. Really, I'm grateful for that horrible feeling, because it made the light seem that much brighter.

A week and a half later, I received my call. As I read the letter I tried not to read ahead, but I failed and almost started to cry. Belgium/Netherlands Mission, Dutch-speaking, March 20th! I took a deep breath and read it out loud to my family and friends, including my grandparents on Skype, who are serving in their mission in the same place! My dad's ancestors are all from the Netherlands. It is a literal occurrence of "the hearts of the children... [turning] to their fathers." When I touch down in the Netherlands after I leave the MTC, I will be in the land of my ancestors.

It's amazing to me how much of a story there is to tell. It all just started with a little girl who wanted more people to experience Church. I have come so far since, and will only grow more in the next 66 days until the MTC, and then in the next 18 months. I am so grateful for the opportunity that I have to help the work along, and to serve my Heavenly Father as well as my Savior Jesus Christ. I'm so excited to increase my love for the people of Belgium and the Netherlands through service! I know that if I live the way the Gospel teaches, and listen for answers when I pray, I will not only have success, but also learn, grow, and mature into the woman who I am supposed to be.

I am Sister Kira Anjewierden.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and the Lord has called me to serve in the Belgium/Netherlands Mission, preaching His gospel to those who do not have it in their lives yet - some who have never even heard of it! I report to the MTC on March 20th, 2013,  and will be teaching the gospel in the Dutch language, hence "Zuster," which means "sister" in Dutch. I am so excited!

Right now, this blog is a place for me to write down thoughts about my mission preparation and my testimony. Come March 20th, it will have my weekly preparation-day emails posted to it! Stay tuned!

I also keep a lifestyle blog, Tales of Garden Gnomes, and will keep that up until I leave in March, and pick up after I come back in the autumn of 2015!